dr johnny go

if there is one thing in clerkship that makes your knees tremble so hard just by the mention of it(besides revalida), it's the daily morning rounds with the famous "cot uncot" dr. johnny t. go.

last duty, i admitted my second patient in our medicine rotation. he is j.r., 55/m, with a chief complaint of jaundice. three months prior to admission, he noticed passage of tea-colored urine accompanied by jaundice, icteric sclera, pruritus and abdominal enlargement with early satiety. his assessment at admission was decompensated liver cirrhosis probably due to 1) alcohol 2) schistosomiasis 3) post hepatitic 4) secondary biliary cirrhosis and obstructive biliary disease probably due to 1) periampullary CA and 2) stone... which gives me about at least 4 topics to read about in 13 hours before rounds the next day. my problems get even worse when i found out that since dr go was a gastroenterologist, his favorite topic was jaundice dedededen(a beethoven symphony). i didn't sleep that night... correction, i didn't sleep more than 2 hours that night. i was scared shitless. even though he was just another human being like me, he was another human being like me who shouts a lot and likes a lot of sarcasm which makes you feel as significant as a spec of dust.

morning came and rounds started. no johnny go yet. 30 minutes pass, no johnny go yet. i said to myself, just keep discussing and everything will be... hoh shit! it's johnny go. everyone in room 207 quivered and i could actually smell the fear in the air... even from our team resident. my groupmates gave me sympathetic looks and then i began, "our patient is j.r., 55 male..." and for the life of me, i was surprised. it went so smoothly. answers to his questions were starting to come from my mouth out of nowhere! to my astonishment, he even gave me a little pinch on the elbow. i felt foolish and somehow disappointed. i learned a lot from that rounds. not just medical mumbo jumbo but also something about people. sometimes, after all, they are just people too. not some monster who wants to eat you if you didn't read your medical books. i should try to think about that more often than be scared shitless of some resident or consultant...

because somehow, it's a big part of my career and i will always encounter people like dr go.