not about clerkship

here i was, researching for my adcon tomorrow when i decided to check on my friendster after not having opened my account for a month now. i know i shouldn't have since i had to wake up early again tomorrow since i was on my 24 hour duty the next day. then, there it was. a new friend request from a highschool friend. he was actually, my first crush. i read through his profile and found out that he and his girlfriend were still together. and having read through both their testimonials for each other, realized that they were really happy. well baby what can i say? i guess no words could describe u best. This lady and i have been through a lot. I can say that we have hurdled many challenges in our relationship, even an incident where I almost lost her. I have laughed and cried with her, my partner for life. Swear that I will always be there for you, so that you wont feel a single ounce of sadness. LOVE U SO MUCH! mwah! What is it about ***** that I love the most? He is very sweet, loving, affectionate, patient, understanding, giving, protective, funny (and my list goes on and on)... he's my bestfriend, confidant, partner... i am thankful that he is always there especially when i need him the most (how could i forget my sudden brush with death?)... sobra naintriga lahat ng kamag-anak ko sa kanya, pero finally na-meet na rin nila (we already have my grandpa's blessing, hehehe)... to my baby, i thank God for bringing you into my life. kahit na minsan nagaaway tayo dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko at pagiging childish ko, you still understand and love me more. i'm sorry for my shortcomings ha. thanks for everything! i'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! *MWAH!* :)

in a way, i can't help but admit that i'm happy for them. they seem to have found something that i haven't found yet in my life. and i guess this is part of the reason why i feel so empty inside. the saddest part is, i don't even believe that it could happen to me ever. i just live to exist. *sigh* i'm afraid to open my friendster now.