the second secret

this second secret will really surprise you. because in a way, i can't believe it myself.

i'm in a relationship.

and yes, it's called a boyfriend.(hehe) i haven't really told a lot of people yet, just those who are in close proximity to me who could hear and see the it. the truth is, it's hard for me to admit to anyone that i have one because, even to myself, i find it harder. it's a long distance relationship. why i even agreed to this, i can't answer. i can't because i don't know why. i made a big mistake AGAIN. i didn't think. not only am i hurting myself for investing emotions, i'm also hurting him for blaming him that it's his fault i can't see him that often. i know that i'm being selfish. but he has his faults too.

and now, i just don't feel like talking about it anymore. i don't want to be angry at someone. and i especially don't want to feel sad. i don't want to feel so weak and vulnerable.

...and that was my second secret. one of my biggest so far.

secrets and blind items

i have a few secrets.

no. actually, i have a lot. what i really mean is, i can disclose a few here.

secret #1
i'm almost fed up with a close friend of mine. whenever the day starts, she's always in this bitch mode that i have to deactivate by trying to make her laugh or just plain ignore her. i know that this is not suppose to affect me but i just hate it when she ruins my good start for the day. i try as much to ignore her but sometimes she goes into double overtime and she tries to get into my nerves by saying a few wise ass remarks. like for example, we're together in this certain department in this certain hospital where she's as bored as hell because we were doing nothing. what i do is, i try to make my time productive by looking at some chest xray plates. suddenly, she looks at me irritatively and says in a provoking tone, "miss radio." if i was my old self then(and thank god for her for my new year's resolution for being more patient to her!), i'd whip up a can of whoop ass and beat the living crap out of her. if she didn't want to be productive, why the hell does she have to give me crap for being so? if i could answer the questions during plate readings and she can't then she should keep her insecurities to herself and shut the hell up! i have been so patient with her but i don't know for how long.

god! i'm so angry!

secret #2

actually, one is enough for now... i got so worked up about it. the second one might give me transient ischemic attack.